We look for happiness like it’s out there, some treasure box to uncover or reward to earn. It’s actually inside us, in the day-to-dayness of our everyday lives, and we’re robbing ourselves of it when we seek extrinsic thrills.
Aristotle had a term — Eudaimonia, a flourishing that comes from living up to our potential in all its forms.
Our daily experiences offer many opportunities to flourish in this way, often in things that challenge us the most. It’s reframing when we’re about to quit by telling ourselves how grateful we are to be the sort of person who perseveres. It’s training yourself to prefer intrinsic experiences over extrinsic prizes.
Real happiness isn’t getting a new car or the thrill of a new relationship or promotion. Happiness is about who we are and doing what’s right. And it starts right now.
As the Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “First tell yourself what kind of person you want to be, and then act accordingly in all that you do.”