I think the biggest mistake people make when trying to distance themselves from the internet is that they fail to socialize. Instead, they participate in quiet introverted activities. But most internet usage is hitting the spot of high-stimulation extroverted party time. Go see live comedy, or a live debate. Get some friends together and make music. Do improv classes. Go to a philosophy meetup. Go to a board game club.
Your brain desires stimulation, it's just getting stuck on the synthetic hamster wheel version of it.
Don't try to starve your brain of stimulation, just give it the real-life stuff.
these are all synthetic hamster wheel activities for synthetic hamster wheel people friend. have you tried actually doing something useful for someone else with your time, like volunteering?
capitalism is collapsing and there's a shitload of suffering everywhere, all around you, while you wonder why you've to got the sad brains. it sure is sad about all the sadbrains tho!
I love this. I've had to basically create an iron-clad digital firewall to keep myself from the internet in the evening. If I don't respect that wall, every other part of my life suffers, starting with sleep, and ending with mood and work. I've discovered that protecting my evenings from distraction is one of the most powerful tools I have for living a good life and that failing to protect my evenings is one of the surest ways to generate suffering.
I visit the void on my backpacking trips. I take no music or podcasts or even any reading material with me. On those evenings I write in my journal and its very interesting to see where my mind goes. Maybe fatigue is a factor, but I rarely ever feel bored in those times. Unplugging like that every evening at home is next level, though!
That's awesome. I've found there's an inescapable cycle with hiking. I start. My mind cries out for distraction. I don't give in. And again. And again. Distraction! But after awhile, I ease into a different state in which the void is very pleasurable. My mind wanders unconstrained down unexpected paths. Something special happens when stimulus is absent. Something bubbles up that was obscured by the outside opinions and voices. I actually consider the nightly void less badass in the sense that I'm still allowing plenty of stimulus in, it's just mellower stimulus than what you'll get through digital entertainments.
That’s a great point. It is being deliberate about the type of stimulus we allow, and not engaging in the ones designed to capture our attention in a negative way. Good stuff!
I’m going to try this. I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about it. Wish me luck. Thank you (and I think his name is Sam) for sharing your work. Too bad you don’t have some kind of boot camp to help people (like me…) get started.
The other night, I considered this very issue- the day's over, dinner is on the table, everyone is tired, and it's a few hours until bedtime. Screens want to fill this void. Your articulation of the issue is helpful, and I will use it to improve my evenings so they are enjoyable and energizing.
Thanks Andrew. These comments feel familiar. I hike up into the mountains once or twice a week where I have found several peaceful places amongst the rocks and peaks. In these places I just let my mind go where it likes.
I did this recently too. I had a digital detox where I used no screens, apart from kindle, after 5pm or before 9am. It was bliss. I slept better, my energy was better, my conversations with my partner were deeper, and I realised that there is very little that is so urgent it cannot wait until the following day. It does feel like setting the attention free. I'm trying to keep it up, though not every night. But it feels wonderfully self-indulgent to pack away my phone and laptop at 5pm and not look at it until the next day 😊
Yeah, it does feel very indulgent and blissful when you sink into it. But think how recent it is that being unplugged for 4-6 hours after work is indulgent. It used to be the norm. People went home and were offline. I expect that unless you have very specific jobs, the expectation is more on the side of us than the employer.
Sitting in discomfort is the only way to get more comfortable in the world. I catch myself feeling like I’m “too tired” to write or think, and reach for my phone. After a few weeks of doing this I feel torpor and, frankly, kind of disgusting, like I’ve just eaten a couple sticks of butter. Trying to experience whatever state I’m in and making the most of it is uncomfortable but necessary. I feel so much better about existing if I take my exhausted brain and create something rather than consume. The stoics have it right: “Let no act be without a purpose.” So much modern media and dopamine machines are meant to drain us of real purpose and turn us into consumption machines.
Love how you structured this piece around embracing deliberate inaction, taking direct action against the compulsion to stay with the vampiric energy flow. To me it seems like stepping away from this digital dopamine cycle post-2012 is a meditative practice but on a different scale than traditional meditation, bringing us down from the cloud so our feet can touch the ground let alone sit on it. Thanks for sharing your experience with it and giving suggestions!
Excellent points. I loved your reply in comments, “Something special happens when stimulus is absent.” I have observed such a disconnect between people when there are constant earbuds/headphones with incoming stimuli. There are gifts to be unwrapped in the quiet, if we only leave space for their arrival.
I imagine you have read Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. I enjoyed his observations too.
Many thanks for this, Andrew. I particularly enjoyed the links to "Journal like a philosopher" and "How to stop making mistakes you really want to make", which I'd missed the first time round. Valuable stuff! More practice required!
I think the biggest mistake people make when trying to distance themselves from the internet is that they fail to socialize. Instead, they participate in quiet introverted activities. But most internet usage is hitting the spot of high-stimulation extroverted party time. Go see live comedy, or a live debate. Get some friends together and make music. Do improv classes. Go to a philosophy meetup. Go to a board game club.
Your brain desires stimulation, it's just getting stuck on the synthetic hamster wheel version of it.
Don't try to starve your brain of stimulation, just give it the real-life stuff.
Good suggestions.
these are all synthetic hamster wheel activities for synthetic hamster wheel people friend. have you tried actually doing something useful for someone else with your time, like volunteering?
capitalism is collapsing and there's a shitload of suffering everywhere, all around you, while you wonder why you've to got the sad brains. it sure is sad about all the sadbrains tho!
I believe what you're suggestions is:
1) Most people are slaves: https://andrewperlot.substack.com/p/epictetuss-key-insight-for-taking?r=1xulhu
2) Live virtuously: https://andrewperlot.substack.com/p/no-one-tries-this-when-theyre-unhappyits?r=1xulhu
I love this. I've had to basically create an iron-clad digital firewall to keep myself from the internet in the evening. If I don't respect that wall, every other part of my life suffers, starting with sleep, and ending with mood and work. I've discovered that protecting my evenings from distraction is one of the most powerful tools I have for living a good life and that failing to protect my evenings is one of the surest ways to generate suffering.
Agreed. A hijacked night will ruin the next day.
100%. And I'm at a point in my life where I'm painfully aware of how fleeting time is.
Amen to this
I visit the void on my backpacking trips. I take no music or podcasts or even any reading material with me. On those evenings I write in my journal and its very interesting to see where my mind goes. Maybe fatigue is a factor, but I rarely ever feel bored in those times. Unplugging like that every evening at home is next level, though!
That's awesome. I've found there's an inescapable cycle with hiking. I start. My mind cries out for distraction. I don't give in. And again. And again. Distraction! But after awhile, I ease into a different state in which the void is very pleasurable. My mind wanders unconstrained down unexpected paths. Something special happens when stimulus is absent. Something bubbles up that was obscured by the outside opinions and voices. I actually consider the nightly void less badass in the sense that I'm still allowing plenty of stimulus in, it's just mellower stimulus than what you'll get through digital entertainments.
That’s a great point. It is being deliberate about the type of stimulus we allow, and not engaging in the ones designed to capture our attention in a negative way. Good stuff!
I think about this so often. Do what people did before there were all those gadgets. Thank you for writing this and for the suggestions on what to do.
You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
I’m going to try this. I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about it. Wish me luck. Thank you (and I think his name is Sam) for sharing your work. Too bad you don’t have some kind of boot camp to help people (like me…) get started.
You're welcome! Good luck. Maybe I'll think about that boot camp idea.
Like a support group like AA. We could meet and support and plan activities to replace phone games
The other night, I considered this very issue- the day's over, dinner is on the table, everyone is tired, and it's a few hours until bedtime. Screens want to fill this void. Your articulation of the issue is helpful, and I will use it to improve my evenings so they are enjoyable and energizing.
So awesome to hear! Good luck.
Thanks Andrew. These comments feel familiar. I hike up into the mountains once or twice a week where I have found several peaceful places amongst the rocks and peaks. In these places I just let my mind go where it likes.
Yes! I have had so many great moments in the mountains.
I did this recently too. I had a digital detox where I used no screens, apart from kindle, after 5pm or before 9am. It was bliss. I slept better, my energy was better, my conversations with my partner were deeper, and I realised that there is very little that is so urgent it cannot wait until the following day. It does feel like setting the attention free. I'm trying to keep it up, though not every night. But it feels wonderfully self-indulgent to pack away my phone and laptop at 5pm and not look at it until the next day 😊
Yeah, it does feel very indulgent and blissful when you sink into it. But think how recent it is that being unplugged for 4-6 hours after work is indulgent. It used to be the norm. People went home and were offline. I expect that unless you have very specific jobs, the expectation is more on the side of us than the employer.
If you weren’t a philosopher in a previous life, you are truly a treasure in this one. Thank you for this.
That means a lot. Thanks!
Sitting in discomfort is the only way to get more comfortable in the world. I catch myself feeling like I’m “too tired” to write or think, and reach for my phone. After a few weeks of doing this I feel torpor and, frankly, kind of disgusting, like I’ve just eaten a couple sticks of butter. Trying to experience whatever state I’m in and making the most of it is uncomfortable but necessary. I feel so much better about existing if I take my exhausted brain and create something rather than consume. The stoics have it right: “Let no act be without a purpose.” So much modern media and dopamine machines are meant to drain us of real purpose and turn us into consumption machines.
I know that feeling!
Interesting article and a great AI image.
Love how you structured this piece around embracing deliberate inaction, taking direct action against the compulsion to stay with the vampiric energy flow. To me it seems like stepping away from this digital dopamine cycle post-2012 is a meditative practice but on a different scale than traditional meditation, bringing us down from the cloud so our feet can touch the ground let alone sit on it. Thanks for sharing your experience with it and giving suggestions!
Thanks! Ya, compared to the hyperactive algorithmic internet, plain old slow real life feels meditative.
Excellent points. I loved your reply in comments, “Something special happens when stimulus is absent.” I have observed such a disconnect between people when there are constant earbuds/headphones with incoming stimuli. There are gifts to be unwrapped in the quiet, if we only leave space for their arrival.
I imagine you have read Stolen Focus by Johann Hari. I enjoyed his observations too.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
Yes, a part of us drowns in all that stimulus. There needs to be a void from which something honest and personal can arise.
I haven't read Hari's book, but I'll check it out.
Yes 🤍
Nice. Thank you for the reminder. Den
You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed it.
Many thanks for this, Andrew. I particularly enjoyed the links to "Journal like a philosopher" and "How to stop making mistakes you really want to make", which I'd missed the first time round. Valuable stuff! More practice required!
Welcome! Glad you enjoyed it.