I think the biggest mistake people make when trying to distance themselves from the internet is that they fail to socialize. Instead, they participate in quiet introverted activities. But most internet usage is hitting the spot of high-stimulation extroverted party time. Go see live comedy, or a live debate. Get some friends together and make music. Do improv classes. Go to a philosophy meetup. Go to a board game club.
Your brain desires stimulation, it's just getting stuck on the synthetic hamster wheel version of it.
Don't try to starve your brain of stimulation, just give it the real-life stuff.
these are all synthetic hamster wheel activities for synthetic hamster wheel people friend. have you tried actually doing something useful for someone else with your time, like volunteering?
capitalism is collapsing and there's a shitload of suffering everywhere, all around you, while you wonder why you've to got the sad brains. it sure is sad about all the sadbrains tho!
Most people already work and do useful things. Following a long day of work with a long night of volunteering, constantly on end, better fits the analogy for a hamster wheel than anything I’ve described.
The “useful” basis for all of these allegedly non-useful activities I listed is that they build and foster strong social bonds. People who foster strong social bonds are happier. If you want to volunteer and lift up people who are struggling, feeding them soup will only get them half of the way — they need friendship and joy too.
I’ve met plenty of people who swallow their deeply evolutionarily-developed need for play. They’re not happy people. They’re just as unhappy as people siting all day on video games and social media, just with an added sense of superiority.
I love this. I've had to basically create an iron-clad digital firewall to keep myself from the internet in the evening. If I don't respect that wall, every other part of my life suffers, starting with sleep, and ending with mood and work. I've discovered that protecting my evenings from distraction is one of the most powerful tools I have for living a good life and that failing to protect my evenings is one of the surest ways to generate suffering.
Sitting in discomfort is the only way to get more comfortable in the world. I catch myself feeling like I’m “too tired” to write or think, and reach for my phone. After a few weeks of doing this I feel torpor and, frankly, kind of disgusting, like I’ve just eaten a couple sticks of butter. Trying to experience whatever state I’m in and making the most of it is uncomfortable but necessary. I feel so much better about existing if I take my exhausted brain and create something rather than consume. The stoics have it right: “Let no act be without a purpose.” So much modern media and dopamine machines are meant to drain us of real purpose and turn us into consumption machines.
I visit the void on my backpacking trips. I take no music or podcasts or even any reading material with me. On those evenings I write in my journal and its very interesting to see where my mind goes. Maybe fatigue is a factor, but I rarely ever feel bored in those times. Unplugging like that every evening at home is next level, though!
That's awesome. I've found there's an inescapable cycle with hiking. I start. My mind cries out for distraction. I don't give in. And again. And again. Distraction! But after awhile, I ease into a different state in which the void is very pleasurable. My mind wanders unconstrained down unexpected paths. Something special happens when stimulus is absent. Something bubbles up that was obscured by the outside opinions and voices. I actually consider the nightly void less badass in the sense that I'm still allowing plenty of stimulus in, it's just mellower stimulus than what you'll get through digital entertainments.
That’s a great point. It is being deliberate about the type of stimulus we allow, and not engaging in the ones designed to capture our attention in a negative way. Good stuff!
The other night, I considered this very issue- the day's over, dinner is on the table, everyone is tired, and it's a few hours until bedtime. Screens want to fill this void. Your articulation of the issue is helpful, and I will use it to improve my evenings so they are enjoyable and energizing.
Love how you structured this piece around embracing deliberate inaction, taking direct action against the compulsion to stay with the vampiric energy flow. To me it seems like stepping away from this digital dopamine cycle post-2012 is a meditative practice but on a different scale than traditional meditation, bringing us down from the cloud so our feet can touch the ground let alone sit on it. Thanks for sharing your experience with it and giving suggestions!
I’m going to try this. I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about it. Wish me luck. Thank you (and I think his name is Sam) for sharing your work. Too bad you don’t have some kind of boot camp to help people (like me…) get started.
Thanks Andrew. These comments feel familiar. I hike up into the mountains once or twice a week where I have found several peaceful places amongst the rocks and peaks. In these places I just let my mind go where it likes.
I did this recently too. I had a digital detox where I used no screens, apart from kindle, after 5pm or before 9am. It was bliss. I slept better, my energy was better, my conversations with my partner were deeper, and I realised that there is very little that is so urgent it cannot wait until the following day. It does feel like setting the attention free. I'm trying to keep it up, though not every night. But it feels wonderfully self-indulgent to pack away my phone and laptop at 5pm and not look at it until the next day 😊
Yeah, it does feel very indulgent and blissful when you sink into it. But think how recent it is that being unplugged for 4-6 hours after work is indulgent. It used to be the norm. People went home and were offline. I expect that unless you have very specific jobs, the expectation is more on the side of us than the employer.
I love the idea of having 'transition tasks' that allows me to sign off from work and prepare for something else I want to do... like taking a walk with my dog and then reading for 30 minutes. having the structure allows me to not give in to the void and regain some energy back to do something else, be it work on my passion project, study something that interests me or going out with friends.
This resonated a lot - we have a little one in the house now and it's refreshing to see things through her point of view. Before bed we just cuddle with some animals a read a book together. We could learn more from how our children enter the world.
Ive been doing this lately and its helped my sleep and mood considerably. I would highly recommend people give it a try. I give myself from dinner until around 8pm to watch some tv and unwind from work, and from 8 until around 11 when I go to sleep, the time is filled with reading, journaling, and/or meditation. Ive also found a newly formed habit of regular reading of physical books has helped my focus, imagination, and ADHD symptoms, which has translated quite nicely into my professional life.
And thoroughly agree. I stopped having a TV at home nearly a decade ago, stopped watching Netflix over two years ago, rarely plug into social apps. That said, I watch YT on the little handheld screen and use it to read (like here).
I'll try your void space idea. Although early mornings are my preferred "me time" slot.
A few weeks ago I was thinking about, collectively, our inability to unplug, and how this cascades into a heightened state of anxiety and anger (I wonder what the cortisol baseline is today vs pre-smartphone/social media) creating a constant deluge of storms in a teacup, serving as reinforcement loops feeding back into wasted time and energy. My observations are it's more difficult today to engage in reasonable conversation over serious topics. I wonder if there'll be a point of collective burnout and crash.
I'm reminded of an episode of the smurfs comics, where they were dancing (until death from exhaustion) from music emanating from a stereo forgotten in the woods after a picnic by humans (an alien tech artifact in their natural world), until a human kid part of the smurf group, immune to this weakness of theirs, pressed the stop button and "saved" them. It seems like a worthwhile analogy to consider in our circumstances.
I often find that when I’m scrolling aimlessly at 8pm, it’s because I’m overtired and settling into a book is unrealistic. I’ve now gotten better at just going to sleep, and I always wake up feeling loads better.
I think the biggest mistake people make when trying to distance themselves from the internet is that they fail to socialize. Instead, they participate in quiet introverted activities. But most internet usage is hitting the spot of high-stimulation extroverted party time. Go see live comedy, or a live debate. Get some friends together and make music. Do improv classes. Go to a philosophy meetup. Go to a board game club.
Your brain desires stimulation, it's just getting stuck on the synthetic hamster wheel version of it.
Don't try to starve your brain of stimulation, just give it the real-life stuff.
Good suggestions.
these are all synthetic hamster wheel activities for synthetic hamster wheel people friend. have you tried actually doing something useful for someone else with your time, like volunteering?
capitalism is collapsing and there's a shitload of suffering everywhere, all around you, while you wonder why you've to got the sad brains. it sure is sad about all the sadbrains tho!
Most people already work and do useful things. Following a long day of work with a long night of volunteering, constantly on end, better fits the analogy for a hamster wheel than anything I’ve described.
The “useful” basis for all of these allegedly non-useful activities I listed is that they build and foster strong social bonds. People who foster strong social bonds are happier. If you want to volunteer and lift up people who are struggling, feeding them soup will only get them half of the way — they need friendship and joy too.
I’ve met plenty of people who swallow their deeply evolutionarily-developed need for play. They’re not happy people. They’re just as unhappy as people siting all day on video games and social media, just with an added sense of superiority.
I believe what you're suggestions is:
1) Most people are slaves: https://andrewperlot.substack.com/p/epictetuss-key-insight-for-taking?r=1xulhu
2) Live virtuously: https://andrewperlot.substack.com/p/no-one-tries-this-when-theyre-unhappyits?r=1xulhu
I love this. I've had to basically create an iron-clad digital firewall to keep myself from the internet in the evening. If I don't respect that wall, every other part of my life suffers, starting with sleep, and ending with mood and work. I've discovered that protecting my evenings from distraction is one of the most powerful tools I have for living a good life and that failing to protect my evenings is one of the surest ways to generate suffering.
Agreed. A hijacked night will ruin the next day.
100%. And I'm at a point in my life where I'm painfully aware of how fleeting time is.
Amen to this
Sitting in discomfort is the only way to get more comfortable in the world. I catch myself feeling like I’m “too tired” to write or think, and reach for my phone. After a few weeks of doing this I feel torpor and, frankly, kind of disgusting, like I’ve just eaten a couple sticks of butter. Trying to experience whatever state I’m in and making the most of it is uncomfortable but necessary. I feel so much better about existing if I take my exhausted brain and create something rather than consume. The stoics have it right: “Let no act be without a purpose.” So much modern media and dopamine machines are meant to drain us of real purpose and turn us into consumption machines.
I know that feeling!
“Sitting in discomfort is the only way to get more comfortable in the world” - beautiful line
I visit the void on my backpacking trips. I take no music or podcasts or even any reading material with me. On those evenings I write in my journal and its very interesting to see where my mind goes. Maybe fatigue is a factor, but I rarely ever feel bored in those times. Unplugging like that every evening at home is next level, though!
That's awesome. I've found there's an inescapable cycle with hiking. I start. My mind cries out for distraction. I don't give in. And again. And again. Distraction! But after awhile, I ease into a different state in which the void is very pleasurable. My mind wanders unconstrained down unexpected paths. Something special happens when stimulus is absent. Something bubbles up that was obscured by the outside opinions and voices. I actually consider the nightly void less badass in the sense that I'm still allowing plenty of stimulus in, it's just mellower stimulus than what you'll get through digital entertainments.
That’s a great point. It is being deliberate about the type of stimulus we allow, and not engaging in the ones designed to capture our attention in a negative way. Good stuff!
The other night, I considered this very issue- the day's over, dinner is on the table, everyone is tired, and it's a few hours until bedtime. Screens want to fill this void. Your articulation of the issue is helpful, and I will use it to improve my evenings so they are enjoyable and energizing.
So awesome to hear! Good luck.
I think about this so often. Do what people did before there were all those gadgets. Thank you for writing this and for the suggestions on what to do.
You're welcome. Glad you enjoyed the piece.
Love how you structured this piece around embracing deliberate inaction, taking direct action against the compulsion to stay with the vampiric energy flow. To me it seems like stepping away from this digital dopamine cycle post-2012 is a meditative practice but on a different scale than traditional meditation, bringing us down from the cloud so our feet can touch the ground let alone sit on it. Thanks for sharing your experience with it and giving suggestions!
Thanks! Ya, compared to the hyperactive algorithmic internet, plain old slow real life feels meditative.
I’m going to try this. I’m a nervous wreck just thinking about it. Wish me luck. Thank you (and I think his name is Sam) for sharing your work. Too bad you don’t have some kind of boot camp to help people (like me…) get started.
You're welcome! Good luck. Maybe I'll think about that boot camp idea.
Like a support group like AA. We could meet and support and plan activities to replace phone games
Thanks Andrew. These comments feel familiar. I hike up into the mountains once or twice a week where I have found several peaceful places amongst the rocks and peaks. In these places I just let my mind go where it likes.
Yes! I have had so many great moments in the mountains.
I did this recently too. I had a digital detox where I used no screens, apart from kindle, after 5pm or before 9am. It was bliss. I slept better, my energy was better, my conversations with my partner were deeper, and I realised that there is very little that is so urgent it cannot wait until the following day. It does feel like setting the attention free. I'm trying to keep it up, though not every night. But it feels wonderfully self-indulgent to pack away my phone and laptop at 5pm and not look at it until the next day 😊
Yeah, it does feel very indulgent and blissful when you sink into it. But think how recent it is that being unplugged for 4-6 hours after work is indulgent. It used to be the norm. People went home and were offline. I expect that unless you have very specific jobs, the expectation is more on the side of us than the employer.
If you weren’t a philosopher in a previous life, you are truly a treasure in this one. Thank you for this.
That means a lot. Thanks!
I love the idea of having 'transition tasks' that allows me to sign off from work and prepare for something else I want to do... like taking a walk with my dog and then reading for 30 minutes. having the structure allows me to not give in to the void and regain some energy back to do something else, be it work on my passion project, study something that interests me or going out with friends.
That's a great idea
This resonated a lot - we have a little one in the house now and it's refreshing to see things through her point of view. Before bed we just cuddle with some animals a read a book together. We could learn more from how our children enter the world.
Well said!
Ive been doing this lately and its helped my sleep and mood considerably. I would highly recommend people give it a try. I give myself from dinner until around 8pm to watch some tv and unwind from work, and from 8 until around 11 when I go to sleep, the time is filled with reading, journaling, and/or meditation. Ive also found a newly formed habit of regular reading of physical books has helped my focus, imagination, and ADHD symptoms, which has translated quite nicely into my professional life.
That's awesome! Glad it's a useful practice.
Great read, thank you!
And thoroughly agree. I stopped having a TV at home nearly a decade ago, stopped watching Netflix over two years ago, rarely plug into social apps. That said, I watch YT on the little handheld screen and use it to read (like here).
I'll try your void space idea. Although early mornings are my preferred "me time" slot.
A few weeks ago I was thinking about, collectively, our inability to unplug, and how this cascades into a heightened state of anxiety and anger (I wonder what the cortisol baseline is today vs pre-smartphone/social media) creating a constant deluge of storms in a teacup, serving as reinforcement loops feeding back into wasted time and energy. My observations are it's more difficult today to engage in reasonable conversation over serious topics. I wonder if there'll be a point of collective burnout and crash.
I'm reminded of an episode of the smurfs comics, where they were dancing (until death from exhaustion) from music emanating from a stereo forgotten in the woods after a picnic by humans (an alien tech artifact in their natural world), until a human kid part of the smurf group, immune to this weakness of theirs, pressed the stop button and "saved" them. It seems like a worthwhile analogy to consider in our circumstances.
We liked to dance. It's rapture. But there's a limit on how much rapture we can take.
I often find that when I’m scrolling aimlessly at 8pm, it’s because I’m overtired and settling into a book is unrealistic. I’ve now gotten better at just going to sleep, and I always wake up feeling loads better.