Stoicism's Law of Attraction Problem

Like oil and water....and tuxedo cats.

There’s a problem with tuxedo-wearing cats.

If your greatest desire is on the line and to receive it you must merely not think about tuxedo-wearing cats, you’ve already lost.

Try it now and see. I suspected I could cheat my way through this test so I sat down and meditated. I followed my breath for twelve minutes, and no dapper cats paraded before my mind’s eye.

Then my mechanic called. I got up and reminded myself to stay focused on the now, to not let my mind slip to…and there was the cat, inexplicably accessorized with monocle and top hat.

And so went the rest of the day. I saw more evening wear-bedecked felines in an afternoon than I’d seen in my entire life. Drinking tea, cutting a rug on the dance floor, riding in horse-drawn carriages — my mind served them up in every variety.

This dapper cat inescapability conundrum highlights the problem with positive thinking and the law of attraction.

• The first says you’ll be happy and successful if you think positive thoughts instead of negative ones, though mechanisms are vague. Usually, it’s hinted that positive thinking leads to perseverance in the face of hardship, which leads to success, which makes people happy.

• The second — the law of attraction — suggests our universe reconfigures itself to serve up whatever we think about. Negative thoughts breed disastrous outcomes and positive ones bring happy-ever-after endings.

But anyone who’s tried to exclude specific thoughts almost inevitably catches their mind dwelling on them. The more salient the scenario — because we’re anxious about it, for example — the harder it is to exclude.

Associating certain thoughts with disaster only makes us hide from reality and shrink as human beings. This is the very opposite of Stoicism, the ancient Greco-Roman philosophy that’s brought peace to so many people.

Stoicism suggests we explore anxiety-producing thoughts so we can defang them and render them powerless to disturb our tranquility. Stoics look on the dark side and find peace.

Look on the Dark Side for a Change

So it’s weird that positive thinking and the law of attraction have become synonymous with many varieties of pop Stoicism, even here on Substack.

Steven Gambardella

, who writes the Sophist Substack, commented on this phenomenon:

So why do so many “Stoic” influencers serve up these ideas, since they combine with Stoicism like oil mixes with water?

Let’s put aside the dollar signs. Yes, self-help is big business, and Stoicism’s central “virtue is the only good,” paradox will hook few people until they understand its richness (which takes work). Perhaps we need no further explanation for influencers leaning into incompatible ideas. They’re an easy and profitable sell. End of story.

But I suspect it goes deeper than this.

Pessimism’s Delusion Problem:

If someone goes to a therapist complaining that “everyone hates me,” the therapist may observe, from their more objective perch, that 95% of the people in their client’s life feel positive or neutral about them. “Everyone” is a delusionally negative take on reality. The therapist will hopefully help their client take on a more objective — and therefore more positive — assessment of reality. Objectivity and a wider perspective are often more positive than society’s popular delusions.

Stoics try to bring this wider perspective to their lives, but seek accurate assessments, not positivity. If 95% of people actually hate someone, the Stoics would want them to know it, but also to contextualize this into a wider view of what’s important.

The Stoics also have many “negative takes” that are objectively sound. They’re dismissive of the majority, for obvious reasons. But “negative facts about the foolish masses,” actually have a positive effect — if much of the population is foolish, their opposition to sound ideals won’t sting as much.

Beware Stoic Quotes:

Many Stoic quotes, when divorced from their context and philosophy, sound remarkably law-of-attraction-esque, or at least filled with look-on-the-bright-side naivete. This results from an overlap between positive thinking and objectivity.

Perhaps feeling down about some failure, the Stoic emperor Marcus Aurelius reminded himself:

“Not to assume it’s impossible because you find it hard, but recognize that if it’s humanly possible, you can do it too.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.19

That’s a positive take, and I’m not sure it would apply in all circumstances, but it’s certainly mostly true. If many people do something, there’s a pretty good chance it’s possible for us too if we work at it and persevere through setbacks.

The Stoics were also remarkably optimistic about our potential for good and self-improvement:

“Dig deep; the water—goodness—is down there. And as long as you keep digging, it will keep bubbling up.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 7.59

Made Up Stoic Quotes:

There’s another factor here. The amount of made-up Stoic quotes online blows the mind. I regularly come across supposed quotes from Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus that they would never have uttered.

Goodreads tells me Seneca presaged 1998’s pop ballad “Closing Time,” by Subsonic. Really internet? There are hundreds of such made-up quotes around. Many of them are spread from “Stoic Influencers” who should theoretically know better. Many haven’t read the Stoics, but merely read other influencers writing about the Stoics, who in turn read other influencers. It’s a game of telephone played out to its unflatteringly warped conclusions.

True Freedom:

If we recognize the impossibility of hiding from reality, we’re left with something much better than magic fairy dust — unchainable freedom.

• The modern world says, “Don’t think like that. We only want good vibes here.”

• Stoics say, “Think all the way to the end. Trace that fear to the underlying delusion. Look into that sadness or worry to see what’s at the heart of it. What do these emotions have to teach you about what’s good and true?”

It’s not about glorifying pessimism — it’s just refusing to demonize any part of the richness of life as “bad vibes.”

When tuxedo-wearing cats are forbidden, they won’t leave us alone. When we’re open to them, they come and go, but are mostly absent. The same is true for all thoughts. Release what’s forbidden from the thought dungeon and those phantasms lose their grip on us.

In the absence of these thought restrictions, we can move forward with relentless, objective, morally-grounded perseverance.

Why We Let Bullshit Stop Us

As Marcus Aurelius said,

"The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." — Meditations, 5.20.

This is where peace begins — not in forever chasing the delusional positive or fleeing the delusional negative, but in living with complete freedom amid our thoughts, unafraid.